Before You Hit Send, Try and Make a Friend

Posted By Toni Qiu, Dec 27, 2012

In today’s world of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, it’s more than likely that during the course of the day, you’ve sent an email. Or thirty. The use of information technology has grown very rapidly in recent decades, and email has become the norm – it is now mainstream in personal and professional communications alike. And the legal profession is no exception. In many ways, email is an effective and efficient means of communication. Emailing saves time, keeps us in touch, strengthens connections, and improves working relationships. Still, attorneys and negotiators should be aware of the potential consequences of emailing someone they’ve never met before.

Research shows that the way we perceive each other and the extent to which we can identify with one another affects our judgment and behavior. The more relatable we view someone and the more similarities we perceive, the more likely we’ll develop mutual trust and understanding. When we meet someone face-to-face for the first time, visual cues like body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can convey our moods and evoke our emotions to help establish a strong bond. But researchers have found that people communicating via email perceive each other as more abstract, distant, and less recognizable. Thus, people who communicate by email tend not to build as strong of relationship as they would have had they interacted in person.

Moreover, research shows that negotiators who do not know each other and have never worked together in the past can be negatively impacted by the use of email, whereas those with an existing relationship are largely unaffected. These studies suggest that while negotiators who have worked together in the past may be more willing to cooperate by sharing their interests and concerns with each other, strangers have no reason to believe that their generosity will be reciprocated. A lack of empathy and the diminished trust between strangers leads them to feel less inclined to disclose information in an email that may ultimately be mutually beneficial. In this way, negotiating with a stranger via email may negatively affect the negotiated outcome, as well as reduce opportunity for future dealings and negotiations.

In other words, it’s a good idea for negotiators to establish a relationship before that first exchange of emails. Getting to know each other and building trust in one another can promote greater information exchange to determine the preferences and priorities of the parties, which ultimately leads to better solutions and mutually beneficial outcomes for everyone.

Avoid writing an email when negotiating with someone you’ve never contacted before. Exchange some personal information first. Before you send that email, get to know the person you’re sending it to. Make a phone call to introduce yourself, provide your background, and learn about the individual you’ll be working with. You’ll promote a positive working relationship that can lead to a better negotiated outcome and opportunities for a future business relationship. Perhaps most importantly, it will incentivize the parties to fulfill the terms of the agreement reached. With the strong likelihood that the role of information technology will only continue to become integrated into our society, understanding how to use it to your advantage and avoid potential negative effects will prove to be invaluable.